Intrepid Kill: Dubstep 4Runner Fratboys
Was driving with my fiance on our way to a friend's house, minding our own business, when we happened to pull up to a red light next to the most obnoxious thing I have ever witnessed. Two testosterone-fueled drunken fratboys in a mid-90's rusty Toyota 4Runner pickup, blasting the worst dubstep garbage at decibel levels that were surely rattling their shriveled, inebriated little brains. It was so loud I couldn't hear what my passenger was saying in the seat next to me, and it was obvious they were doing it to annoy us. I was fairly infuriated; I had hoped people like these would've died off by now, that human conduct in the first world had evolved beyond this. I was sadly mistaken.
I noticed, at this point, that they had begun revving their engine, their stupid pickup rocking forwards on its bouncy suspension, and a primeval thrill coursed up my spine. If I raced them, I could probably win! That would show them for sure! Although, was this stooping to their level? Should I just let it go, just write them off as the degenerate scum that they were, and hope they die soon of debilitating disease?
My passenger seemed to think the latter as she said loudly into my ear, "Don't do it."
But then the light turned, and I found my right foot anchored to the floor, the engine responding with a thrilling growl, my fiance shrieking in both fear and excitement. We were even to about 25, then the power of the mighty all-American 3.5L hurricane carried us far out in front. With a convincing 15-yard lead having reached about 60 (in a 40), I stuck my left arm out of the window and wagged my fist like a neanderthal, proclaiming absolute and total victory. We hit traffic, and they proceeded to turn off onto a side street, likely too ashamed to face what had just occurred: One hell of a good kill.
Perhaps it's not a big surprise that the Intrepid won, 4Runners aren't exactly built for straight-line speed. But the point was that they had underestimated the Intrepid, writing it off as an ordinary family sedan, mocking it with their dubstep. I imagine they'll think twice next time before making that mistake again.
So yes, I absolutely did stoop to their level, and you know what? It felt awesome.
Last edited by Superhands; 07-01-2012 at 08:24 AM.