Check this one out. I wouldn't even touch those cars they recommended with a 10-foot pole ;)
Here is your official Car-O-Scope, the patented Car Talk assessment of the compatibility between you and your Dodge Intrepid. As you well know, the degree of compatibility between you and your car is crucial to your happiness and well-being! Driving the right vehicle--i.e., having the correct "carma"--will give you an incredible lightness of being, a constant sensation of euphoria and, possibly, a Rocky Mountain high. On the other hand, the wrong "relationship" can be devastating: a continuous frown, a deep and inexplicable depression, a sense of foreboding. In short, a life of quiet desperation--not to mention an incredible headache, lower back pain and continuous hemorrhoidal flare-ups.
So, ready or not, here it is.
Comparing You to Other Dodge Intrepid Owners
Boy oh boy, Randy, you picked a vehicle that just couldn't be more wrong for you. You're not compatible on any of the psychographic or demographic variables! Boy, what a mismatch!
When compared to other people who drive a Dodge Intrepid, you care a bit too much about your car compared to other Dodge Intrepid owners, you're a bit too young to be driving this vehicle, your educational level is a bit lower than that of other Dodge Intrepid owners, you make way too much money to be driving a Dodge Intrepid, other Dodge Intrepid owners are far more willing to take risks than you are, you're more generous than other owners, you are a little too much of a snob, and you are much more objective and logical
For your further edification, here's a little further elucidation on these personality characteristics.
My dear, it appears that other Dodge Intrepid owners just don't care as much about their cars as you do. You're going to have to lighten up on this if you insist on driving a Dodge Intrepid. But, since this is probably a basic character flaw and therefore unchangeable, you probably will have to buy a new car to get your carma in balance.
OK, so you're a bit of a wuss--or is it woos?--when it comes to taking chances. So, why are you driving a Dodge Intrepid? Eh?
We agree that there are lots of dangers out there--and you're perfectly justified in attempting to insulate yourself from them. Car-O-Scope will try to suggest some vehicles that are more in line with your risk-taking profile.
Compared to most other Dodge Intrepid owners, you certainly aren't the type who squeezes a nickel to see if the buffalo will cough up a dime. No, not you. Quite the contrary. Let's face it, you're far too generous a person to be driving a Dodge Intrepid. So continue to "cast your bread upon the waters," and Car-O-Scope will find a vehicle that's more compatible with your generous nature.
Gee, this is interesting. Car-O-Scope has determined that you are a person who is quite concerned with status. And yet, you're driving a Dodge Intrepid. Other Dodge Intrepid drivers just aren't as much of a snob as you are. We're going to have to do something about this, now aren't we?
Some of us have an overdeveloped left brain, and some have an overdeveloped right brain. And your strength is definitely on the left: logic and objectivity. This is not a bad thing. We do need rocket scientists. But it makes you somewhat incompatible with your Dodge Intrepid. Other Dodge Intrepid owners are a bit more "touchy-feely" than you. But you are what you are, so take your pick: Change what you are or get a new car. (That rhymes, doesn't it? Oops, that's a right-brain thing. Sorry.)
Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles
Have no fear, Car-O-Scope is here to save you from a life of misery, depression and hemorrhoidal flare-ups. Through a secret and proprietary process (patent pending) the official car-o-scope has determined that your psychographic and demographic profile is far more compatible with the following vehicles: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try to keep an open mind. It's quite possible that the car-o-scope has discovered some hidden and/or repressed aspects of your personality.
1. Oldsmobile Cutlass
2. Cadillac Brougham
3. Buick Estate Wagon
4. Peugeot 505
5. Dodge Ramcharger
So, let's look at your compatibility profile vis-a-vis the Cadillac Brougham. If you dumped that Dodge Intrepid and got yourself a Cadillac Brougham, you'd be a lot happier.
For example, you'd be almost perfectly compatible in terms of , and your tolerance for taking risks.
In addition, you'd have pretty good compatibility in terms of your gender, your age, how much you really care about your car, your educational level, the extent to which you're a cheapskate, and your grasp of reality.
Here's a little info on these personality characteristics. Read 'em and weep.
Risk-taking: your tolerance for taking chances
Some people are complete wackos when it comes to taking risks. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless), and when Tony goes on vacation, he immediately starts looking for the bungee-jumping sites. A nut case of the first order.
On the other hand, some of us are complete wusses. (Is this how you spell woosses? I'm not sure, but I'm afraid to look it up. Oh, my God, I might be wrong. Oh, my God!) You're compatible on this score.
Here's a more detailed look at your compatibility scores for the other vehicles on the list.
But don't delay! Your health, happiness and general well being are at stake here. Don't drive that Dodge Intrepid for another day.
It has been an honor and a privilege for Car-O-Scope to serve you in this very important decision.
And, don't drive like my brother.